Bruno – 38
Hi everyone, I’m Bruno from Rome, I’m reading your forum with great interest, and I hope you can give me an answer to a problem I have with my wife Arianna; we have a ten-month-old baby girl, and since our birth in bed has changed, I read on the internet that the birth of a child in a couple can change a woman’s sex life, I also read about post-natal depression but I don’t think it’s our case, also because the desire to make love hasn’t failed, only that our relationships are now limited to oral sex and masturbation, talking about penetration has become impossible, Arianna tells me she doesn’t want to being penetrated, feeling pain and preferring to avoid. I wonder if this refusal is related to the birth of our daughter, and if after ten months from the birth she can have pains of this kind.
Hello Bruno and thank you for telling your story in our forum, surely many couples are in the same situation as you and I hope to be able to give them an adequate answer. The birth of a child is one of the first reasons for changing a sex life in a couple, the reasons are many, and range from the transformation of the body of a woman who may feel less attractive than before and therefore less desired to a third figure ‘inside of the family nucleus, which can lead to jealousy in man, since the companion dedicates all those attentions that were previously for the partner, now they are for the child, up to problems of post-natal depression, as you said . In your case, I understand that the loss of desire has not been lacking, but that your wife has pains during penetration; a possible dysfunction may be dyspareunia, or generalized pain after intercourse, also known as “painful coitus”, the possible causes may be either physical in nature, such as insufficient vaginal lubrication, infection or inflammation of the genital tract, but also lacerations due to childbirth or scars due to surgery. So the first step to take if you have not already done so, is that of a thorough gynecological examination to understand if the problem is physical; if this were not the case then we need to analyze the problem from a psychological point of view, in this case the reasons may be due to a couple conflict, or if his wife had a difficult pregnancy, the mere thought of being able to relive a traumatic and painful experience , prevents her from having complete relationships, a psychological defense mechanism to avoid another possible pregnancy. In this case I suggest you contact a therapist who can intervene under the psychological aspect and help you solve your problem.
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